280: Neurodivergent Housekeeping

How do ADHD and Autistic people keep their house clean? Do they? Let’s find out in this exciting episode of Overtired featuring Bryan Guffey.

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Neurodivergent Housekeeping

[00:00:00] Brett: Hey, everybody, You’re listening to overtired, uh, due to scheduling conflicts, we could not arrange to have both Christina and Jeff on the show at the same time this week. So, because last week was just a boys' week with just Jeff and me, Brett Turkstra.

[00:00:23] Hi, I’m Brett TURPs. You’re welcome to overtired. Because we had just done an all boys show. We really wanted to bring, uh, Christina in. So this is Brett Turkstra Christina and special guests, friend of the show. Brian Guffey. How are you?

[00:00:41] Bryan: I’m tired.

[00:00:43] Christina: You’re tired.

[00:00:44] Bryan: I’m so tired.

[00:00:45] Christina: You’re so tired. Um, you’re overtired. You’re also overexcited, right? Because you’ve got a new, uh, we’re going to go into mental health corner, but, but I, but I wanted you to be able to like, get out your excitement cause, uh, you’re

[00:00:56] Bryan: Yeah, I am. very excited. I have a new baby on the way. Um, [00:01:00] it’s a little chunkier than my old baby. Um, and it is a new ma based based model max studio. And I’m just going to say that through the magic of. People I know.

[00:01:12] And trade-ins, I’m blinking a base model Mac studio for $800. Babying. Damn, damn. Yeah. I’m really excited. so excited I can’t believe I have to wait almost the rest of the

[00:01:24] Brett: month. You’re trading and I’m a Mac mini, correct? I’m one Mac

[00:01:28] Bryan: mini. Yeah.

[00:01:29] Brett: How much should you get traded for it? 400. Yeah. Okay. That’s what they offered me.

[00:01:35] Uh, and then a couple of people on, on Twitter offered me 500 to sell it directly to them.

[00:01:43] So I think I’m going to do that, but also my whole home automation system and my media server are still running off a 2012 Mac mini in my basement. Um, and maybe, maybe it’s time to upgrade that and just [00:02:00] like, kind of move down the chain a little bit.

[00:02:03] Bryan: Maybe,

[00:02:04] Christina: Yeah, maybe.

[00:02:06] Brett: I

[00:02:07] Bryan: have money now.

[00:02:08] Christina: Oh, I was going to say, if you don’t have to get rid of it, like $500, if, if like you feel like you would get more than $500 in value out of it by having it and like maybe moving it down the chain, which

[00:02:19] Bryan: I owe the

[00:02:20] Brett: IRS, like $1,600 and I got that total and I’m like, cool, got that. No problem. And that is the first time in many years that someone has presented me with a $1,600 bill and I’ve been like, oh yeah, no problem. Cool. I’m basically rich. Now I’m basically a billionaire.

[00:02:38] Christina: I love this for you. So are you going to buy Twitter? Um, uh, next, are you going to become a

[00:02:42] Bryan: I was thinking like

[00:02:43] Brett: maybe 5%,

[00:02:45] Bryan: ma you don’t want to, you don’t want to go

[00:02:47] 10 if it’s a little more than him,

[00:02:49] Christina: I was going to say, if we do

[00:02:50] 10, then we can get Brian, um, like more followers. Like we can like force like

[00:02:56] Bryan: honestly.

[00:02:57] Brett: Can’t we just do that with cash money without being on the board. [00:03:00]

[00:03:00] Christina: I mean probably, but

[00:03:01] Bryan: we want good

[00:03:02] Christina: but the board be fun.

[00:03:03] Bryan: Yeah,

[00:03:03] Christina: Yeah. The board

[00:03:04] Brett: we want, we want the good followers. Like

[00:03:06] Bryan: all of the employees at Twitter, like now there was it’s their requirement to follow me. So

[00:03:13] Brett: that word, so mental health. How about that mental health? What what’s

[00:03:20] asked Brian first, Brian, how’s

[00:03:22] Christina: Yeah, I heard that sigh.

[00:03:24] Bryan: My mental health is like at this moment. It’s good. But it has been a bit of a shit show. The past like month. I it’s just been a rough relationship time. I’ve been in the, oh, anytime you say anything to me, possibly critical. I have to get very upset right away and tell You that you’re wrong. We talked about this a little bit on Twitter.

[00:03:54] Um, but it has been up until like last week, it was really, really. [00:04:00] And just like moments where you’re like, is this gonna work? Um, but my therapist told me once again, that I got, my boyfriend is always right. It’s literally the worst thing right there. I was like, maybe you should just see Nathan, uh, because obviously, like, I don’t know, you guys are best friends, but uh, I’ve chilled out a bit and it’s been helping.

[00:04:25] So also I take my out, I take that extra Adderall in the evening and it helps too. You take Adderall in the evening. I take Adderall through, I think Adderall at 3:00 PM. Sometimes it’s a little bit, if I forget like that extra boots,

[00:04:39] Brett: not the XR version of Adderall though.

[00:04:42] Bryan: Nope. We do XR on Straterra in the morning.

[00:04:44] And then the boost, like, it’s just, I think it’s just a 10 milligram boost.

[00:04:48] Brett: Uh, which my doctor give me

[00:04:49] Bryan: that. Yeah. And if I don’t take that, you better watch out. Cause I will, I will start a fight.

[00:04:56] Brett: It sounds like if you were in a CIS hetero [00:05:00] relationship and it were being skewered by a male comedian. Nope.

[00:05:05] You would be the man. Yes. Did I set that up, right? I feel like that made sense in my head. Yeah. Yeah,

[00:05:12] Bryan: absolutely. Yeah. It would be the game because I would be the one that was like, yeah, totally. Um, I will tell you exactly what’s wrong, but it’s always something if it’s never my fault.

[00:05:25] Brett: Yeah.

[00:05:26] I am very used to being wrong in any argument with any partner in any romantic sense, male or female, it doesn’t matter.

[00:05:38] I’m just used to feeling very much like I am correct very much feel like I am. Right. But I am incapable of winning a debate. I do not debate well, and I generally just have to accept. I either am wrong or in, or am incapable of [00:06:00] defending my belief that our marae

[00:06:05] Christina: Okay. So you’re not, but I’m guessing based on what you just said there, you’re not really conceded in most cases that you’re wrong. Secretly, you’re still thinking you’re right. You just don’t

[00:06:14] Bryan: sure. Like

[00:06:14] Brett: in my head I might be right, but for all intents and purposes, I have

[00:06:19] to be wrong.

[00:06:21] Christina: you’ve got to. Yeah, you gotta be wrong because you just, you’re not able to

[00:06:25] Bryan: Well,

[00:06:25] Brett: because if it’s, if it’s a, if it’s a, an academic debate, I might stand a chance. But if it’s like, Who was the last person to watch the dishes? I can’t I’m out fruit. I can’t prove anything. Like I do not have the contextual evidence to say, here’s why I know I was the last person wash your dishes in here are all of the surrounding events that will trigger your memory and prove that I am right.

[00:06:53] I never have that. I never

[00:06:55] have it.

[00:06:57] Christina: do appreciate the, both of you seem to like, [00:07:00] care about like who’s the last person to do. The dishes was because to me, you’d be like, I did the dishes last and I’m like, and like,

[00:07:08] Bryan: I’m the only one who does the, this in the house. I took over the kitchen for some reason when I moved them, like washing dishes is really peaceful to me.

[00:07:17] Christina: oh, that’s. Yeah, that’s really nice. Yeah. I do not have a domestic bone in my body for this sort of thing. And I would rather pay someone to do some of those things for me. And, um, when I can’t, you know, I like things get out of control, but yeah, I, I, I, in, in fairness to myself, I’ve never pretended otherwise, like I’ve never like pretended like, oh yeah, I’m, I’m a great, you know, like domestic, like, like I’m a great greeter, the whole cleaning and, you know, picking up after things, person never, never pretended that never pretended.

[00:07:51] Brett: Housekeeping. is in, in, so it’s, it’s me, ADHD, bipolar person with a [00:08:00] partner who is autistic and. For her to get to a place of cleaning the house. It’s, it’s, it’s much the same as mine, but she’s more capable of pushing through that wall of awful.

[00:08:15] Christina: Right.

[00:08:16] Brett: But when she’s in house cleaning mode, it’s angry.

[00:08:20] Like there’s No, way for her to get to vacuuming without being angry first. And then I just have to go hide because I’m fucking in capable of, of like, if someone tells me, Hey, we really need the kitty litter box cleaned and then vacuum the floors. I that’s that’s clear directive. I can do that. I can say, okay, this is not my job.

[00:08:47] But if someone is just clearly in housekeeping mode and I look around, I don’t see, I don’t see where I fit into it without being

[00:08:56] explicitly told.

[00:08:59] Christina: and, and, and, [00:09:00] and, and you probably are be more helpful by just getting out of the

[00:09:04] Brett: I, I have tried. I’ve been like, Hey, how can I help? But when someone is already pushing through a wall of awful and they’re already angry, they do not have the capacity to delegate and asking them, what should I do is just one more stress in the whole thing. And I it’s. So yeah. You’re you are correct. It is the most helpful thing I can do if I don’t see where I can fit in.

[00:09:30] It’s just get

[00:09:31] out of there.

[00:09:33] Christina: This reminds me, sorry, go on. Okay. So th th just real quick, this reminds me when, um, when, when we moved from New York, um, uh, Microsoft page to have these amazing, like movers come in and they packed literally everything up. Like, they pack up your garbage, like, they go so fast. Like, it’s one of those things and, and they, you know, shipped across the country.

[00:09:50] And then when we got, um, when we finally got an apartment, like, you know, they, they unloaded all the boxes and stuff. It was, it was excellent, but it was a stressful process because we’d been in that apartment for seven [00:10:00] years and you have people coming in, you know, like boxing and everything up. And, and I, I could not deal with it.

[00:10:06] It was just, it was going to drive me crazy. So one of the best things that grant did was he just like told me to get in a cab and go into deep Brooklyn to go to cable vision, to return the cable. And so I returned the cable box and then I went, um, to like the mall or something and, and did some shopping because, and until they were done, because I just could not be in the house while all that was happening.

[00:10:32] And that was really great of him to be like, just leave. And I was like, you know what? That’ll be better for all of us. That’s right.

[00:10:39] Bryan: Yeah.

[00:10:40] I, um, that’s why I sort of like, I took over specific things that are my job, but I also have to make sure that they’re done at particular times because Nathan, I mean lift by himself for a couple of years. And before that was like in a relationship with somebody who was like, we [00:11:00] need things to be organized all the time.

[00:11:01] And Nathan is, has like the best memory ever and is far too smart. So like, like you Brett, I just believe when he tells me that I did something, I didn’t do something because I can’t remember. Sure. Yeah, absolutely. It makes, you know, so, um, if I have not cleaned a thing. Then he suddenly gets into cleaning mode, then he will clean the thing.

[00:11:27] And then I am mad because that’s my job to clean. Okay.

[00:11:31] Brett: So here’s what I’ve worked out with. My girlfriend is I have certain response take the kitty litter, for example, like she is extremely smell sensitive and she can clean the kitty litter with a lot of coughing and gagging me, no effect. Like I don’t care.

[00:11:49] I can clean kitty litter all day long. So obviously that is something that should be my job. But I also due to lack of any sensitivity [00:12:00] will not notice when the kitty litter needs to be cleaned nearly as soon as she will. So we have an agreement that all she, she is welcome without it being nagging. She is welcome at any time to say, Hey.

[00:12:16] Can you do the kitty litter and to just let me know that now is the time to do this thing that I have taken responsibility for. And I, it doesn’t offend me. Like it doesn’t come across as nagging. It’s just, I need her to tell me when it’s bothering her so that I can do what I’ve agreed to do, because I’m not going to do it on my own.

[00:12:41] I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna realize it soon enough. So we just have this agreement that she can just tell me it’s time.

[00:12:49] Bryan: Yeah. I’ve been trying to get Mason to understand them. Like you just, just say the thing. Yeah. Just tell me the thing. Like, I will never be upset if you’re like, stop or go do this. Like, [00:13:00] and I will try to remember things I really will, but like, it’s so hard to like for it to stay in my brain.

[00:13:07] Brett: Yeah. He, he needs to understand your ADHD and what that means. As far as housekeeping, going to couples counseling with an ADHD counselor was

[00:13:20] great for us.

[00:13:22] Christina: Oh, really?

[00:13:22] Brett: oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. For, for a partner to understand exactly like it’s really easy for outside people to see ADHD, housekeeping tendencies, as some kind of like moral failing.

[00:13:38] Uh, but if they can truly understand what it’s like inside my head, uh, being faced with house cleaning, they can come to a place of empathy and understanding and actually work with me. And when you’re working with me, we can get a lot done. Like I’m not incapable of vacuuming the [00:14:00] floors. It’s just a matter of getting me to a point where I actually do it.

[00:14:08] Christina: Right.

[00:14:08] Brett: Yeah, which just takes a little understanding and yeah, honestly, if anyone, if anyone is ADHD or autistic and is in a relationship with someone who doesn’t have your particularly particular mental illness, go to counseling, go to counseling with someone who understands neurodiverse thinking it’ll it’ll, it’s great for relationships.

[00:14:33] It’s

[00:14:34] Bryan: amazing.

[00:14:36] Christina: That’s a really good tip. Actually. I bet that that would be useful, even if you both are neuro-diverse. And even if you both have some of the same things, I bet it would be, be useful then, because even if you know, it it’s different than being able to like internalize how it might be for someone

[00:14:48] Brett: Yeah. Cause you can know something full well about yourself, but seeing it in someone else can drive you insane, even though it’s the same as in you. And that’s partly like nothing drives you more insane and [00:15:00] other people then things that actually reflect parts of yourself. That’s the most. I learned that in 12 step programs, the thing that most annoys you about someone else.

[00:15:11] is probably something you also see in yourself.

[00:15:14] I’m full of Interesting

[00:15:15] tidbits

[00:15:15] Bryan: today. We have, uh, we have a book, I got him a book it’s called. Is it you B or ADHD? Oh really? Yeah. It’s about a, it’s actually a woman who her husband has ADHD and she started a support group. And so this is like just conversations and experiences of the people of the partners and the support group.

[00:15:41] Um, yeah. Um, w we were about to start going through and reading it, and then of course, He found out his contract with them being renewed. So we’re going to work, you know? So we’re just dealing with that right now. But yeah, like That’s the, that’s the thing that we’re working through because it is sometimes he’s like, I it’s so hard for him to [00:16:00] believe that I’m not just being lazy or ignoring things.

[00:16:05] Cause he can’t understand how my brain works.

[00:16:08] Brett: Is it you, me or adult add, stopping the rollercoaster when someone you love has attention deficit disorder. That’s what, that’s what my search like app gave me as a result. Is that the one? Yep. All right, cool.

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[00:17:50] How is that? did I do a good job.

[00:17:52] Christina: You did a great

[00:17:53] Bryan: I would say one way for it. I’m very excited to try to bill.

[00:17:57] Brett: I honestly, okay. This is, this is [00:18:00] outside the address, but honestly like. It tells me exactly how much I’ve spent every month and where I’ve spent it without me having to actually do anything. And that has been like really valuable to me

[00:18:15] ' cause

[00:18:15] Christina: That’s awesome. Yeah, '

[00:18:16] Brett: keep books to save my life.

[00:18:18] Christina: I can’t either. And I, I, I have things on different accounts and whatnot, and I’ve been meaning to sign up for this for a while. And now I’m actually absolutely going to, because.

[00:18:27] Brett: they even have the, even have services for tax time to see where all your expenses were. Right, right, right. Yeah. It made life much easier for me this year, because my typical approach is to basically load up Amazon purchase history and just mark off all the things that I can write off as like podcasting or, or indie dev expenses.

[00:18:54] And then I go through and I collect all of the totals and then I. Homemade system [00:19:00] services that create totals from my totals, like all, all dollar amounts in selection totaled. And, and that’s how I do my taxes, but, but true bill offers an easier way to get reports and I love it.

[00:19:15] To Patreon or not to Patreon

[00:19:15] Bryan: That’s awesome. I actually, um, have to think about that because the podcast we just finished season one did very well.

[00:19:23] Um,

[00:19:24] Christina: wow. Congratulations.

[00:19:25] Bryan: yeah. And we launched a, a coffee, like after episode nine and we’re able to recoup costs.

[00:19:34] Brett: Did you say,

[00:19:36] Christina: No, no, no. It’s K F I, so it was like coffee.

[00:19:39] Bryan: yeah, it used to be buying me a coffee. Do you remember buying me a coffee.

[00:19:42] Brett? Sorry. Yeah, It’s like, it would be,

[00:19:47] it’s a prodo Patrion originally,

[00:19:49] Christina: Yeah, exactly. I was going to say

[00:19:51] it’s it’s it’s like one click Patrion.

[00:19:53] Bryan: But we were able to be coop. I mean, we were able to make back all the money that I spent on editing [00:20:00]

[00:20:00] Christina: That’s awesome.

[00:20:00] Bryan: God. So we’re going to start a Patrion, but I realized now, like all that, money’s just going into my bank account and I work cohost, but I don’t like, I want to make sure it’s organized.

[00:20:13] Right.

[00:20:13] Christina: Right?

[00:20:14] Bryan: And then I like want that ability to like, have a business. Cause then you can get like business credit

[00:20:20] Christina: Mm.

[00:20:22] Brett: or we could be, I’m not good at that. All of the money from overtired comes to me directly. And then I have to do all the math to pay my co-hosts. And it’s complicated because. Taxes and, and we have slightly different shares because I do all the editing and it’s math. There are a lot of percentages involved in the calculations drives me nuts.

[00:20:48] Bryan: Yeah. I have a, I have a legal like aid plan through work and I think it’s going to go to them

[00:20:54] and be like, how do I start an LLC?

[00:20:56] Christina: Yeah, I was going to say, if you have that, I, I used one of those like [00:21:00] LLC and a box services that was like $200 or something, um, to, to set mine up. Cause just cause it went through the process. And then, um, I mostly did it because I needed a tax ID number, which you can actually get for free. Um, and then you can, I mean, a lot of it you can do, you know, um, uh, depending on your state, like you can do most of it online, but those, some of those services make it easier, but yeah, I’d reach out to your, um, business, um, uh, like your, your, whatever your, your law plan is.

[00:21:27] Um, we, uh, I had one of those at Microsoft when I was at Microsoft. So. Um, which I never used, which was a shame because I paid money for it every month. So you should definitely use it and see how they can help you out and form your LLC. For sure.

[00:21:40] Bryan: Yeah.

[00:21:41] Brett: So this, this, uh, this talk of Patrion is a perfect segue into one of the topics I have on our list. However, first I want to know

[00:21:53] Christina, how’s your mental health.

[00:21:55] Christina: My mental health. That’s pretty good. So I was on, on the show last week because I [00:22:00] was stressed cause I was about to start a new job. And um, so for listeners who are now listening, um, I have now been at, I, uh, started a new job. I, um, and now I get up, which is really, really

[00:22:10] Bryan: Yeah.

[00:22:11] Christina: So that’s been really good.

[00:22:14] So it’s, it’s interesting. Cause it’s the same, like Microsoft owns GitHub, but it is a different company. The tools are different. My email is different. I have a different badge. Like the opposites are different. Payroll is different. Insurance is different benefits. Like there are some things that are the same and, and I still have like a way to have like a Microsoft email account and I can still collaborate with some people internally, but more of it is different than, than the same.

[00:22:43] So, um, I’m now like, you know, um, now like they, um, I guess a seven and, um, it’s good. Um, it’s just, uh, still getting used to everything, right? So it’s. Like jumping into a fire hose and [00:23:00] trying to kind of like get up to speed with how everything works and what the differences are. And having to kind of break my brain from like the five years of, and I didn’t think that I would ever like, internalize so much Microsoft processes, but I did.

[00:23:15] And so it’s one of those things where I’m like, and I’m not like having not, I’m not opposed to it or anything, but it’s just one of those things where I’m like, okay, right. So this is what we do, you know, like just seeing how different companies run and, and are organized. So my mental health is good, but I’m also kind of overwhelmed if that makes any

[00:23:31] Bryan: So

[00:23:32] Brett: when you’re working for get hub, do they, do they unnecessarily distribute everything as PowerPoint presentations? Like even when it doesn’t make sense to

[00:23:44] Christina: no,

[00:23:45] Bryan: yeah, that’s what I thought.

[00:23:47] Christina: no. no. Everything is a pull request. Everything is an

[00:23:49] Bryan: Oh my God.

[00:23:51] Christina: yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s like your dream. Um, yeah.

[00:23:55] Brett: I failed. Okay. We’re not going to talk about works. My, my work [00:24:00] stuff, because you know, this is public, but, but I did fail to apply for a position at.

[00:24:09] Uh,

[00:24:10] Christina: Well, you know what you’ll, I’m sure you’ll have other opportunities. And, um, if that’s the case, I, I now am working there so I will have much more insights into being able to talk you up.

[00:24:22] Brett: for any Oracle employees listening, I do actually love my job at Oracle and the reason I didn’t apply for an open GitHub position that would have been perfect for me. Is I just, I don’t, I don’t have any reason to leave Oracle at this point. And it really got in my head and there was like this whole existential crisis around like even applying for another job.

[00:24:52] Bryan: Yes. About, yeah, I know that feeling, you know, I was, I’ve been thinking about the same thing then having a conversation [00:25:00] about, do I stay where I am? Do I go somewhere else? I know I can get, make a lot more money on the open market.

[00:25:05] Christina: You’re right.

[00:25:06] Bryan: I love the company that I’m at. And I mean, being an ADHD person and going to a new company is like, oh, I got to learn everything all over again.

[00:25:16] And you have to have a work with people. Have

[00:25:19] Brett: you been, have you been honest with your higher ups about your, about ADHD and stuff like that? Yeah. And so the idea of starting a new job means you have to break that ground all over again. And that is a very disconcerting

[00:25:34] conversation to have

[00:25:36] Christina: Right. No, most definitely. Most definitely. And, and I think that there’s something to be said, you know, if you’re in the tech industry even a little bit right now, like the open job market is so competitive right now, you can make way more money. Like I could’ve made more money, not going to get up. If I’d gone to like a, an external company completely.

[00:25:55] I could’ve made a lot more money. I’m like, oh yeah.

[00:25:58] Brett: make

[00:25:59] pretty good money.

[00:25:59] Bryan: [00:26:00] Kristy.

[00:26:00] Christina: I do, and I, I could have, if I’d gone to Amazon or Google or Twitter or Metta or one of those, um, we’re just being honest here. I could have doubled my salary.

[00:26:10] Brett: Jesus Christ. You make so much money,

[00:26:14] Christina: I don’t make that much money, but, but, like, I don’t make that much money, but like, I mean, I do well, but like it’s it’s, but, but I could have, I could have doubled my salary, um, uh, at least with options and stuff.

[00:26:24] Um, but for me it was a similar thing as what you’re saying, Brian lake, I think there’s something to be said, if you like where you are. There’s a benefit to that. Now I think that at a certain point, if you know what. Potential is other places that can obviously, and I think should, you know, like make it possible to have conversations about, okay, are, is, is the place you’re at?

[00:26:45] Are they willing to work with you or whatnot, but there’s more to this stuff than just like the bottom line, you know, you’ve got to think about, am I happy with where I’m working? Do I want to start the process of having to start on a new team all over again and whatnot? In [00:27:00] my case, I actually, I’m so excited about the team that I’m on.

[00:27:02] I’m so excited about working on what I’m going to work on. And, and, and I, you know, have, um, nothing but kind things to say about like my team at Microsoft, but I was also looking for a new challenge. And so I wanted something new and, and I, if it hadn’t been get hub, if it hadn’t been another company, it probably would have been another team at Microsoft.

[00:27:21] So it was perfect for me. Cause I was like, okay, if all the places I would want to go. This is like the place that I want to go. But if you’re not feeling that, like, I totally respect people were like, you know what? Even if I could get more money or even if it seems like it’s a good thing, if it’s not like feeling fully pressing.

[00:27:43] Like there’s okay, let me put it this way. If someone reaches out to me or if someone were to directly reach out to one of you and were to say, I would like to talk to you about a job, no matter how happy you are. I always encourage people to always take the conversation no matter what, but [00:28:00] if it’s, if it’s you who are actively going to go through the process of filling out an application and thinking about like what it would take to go through the interview loop and all that, that’s a little bit different.

[00:28:12] Brett: got us. I got to say, if you’re working in the tech industry, having get hub on your resume, even a six month stint at get hub, it’s gotta be good for you.

[00:28:26] Christina: I hope so. I hope so. I mean, so far the team is great. It’s really nice. I’m back on slack. Um,

[00:28:31] Bryan: Are you happy. about

[00:28:32] that?

[00:28:33] Christina: oh, I’m so happy.

[00:28:34] I’m so

[00:28:35] Bryan: had better get support.

[00:28:37] It’s really.

[00:28:39] Christina: I know, I know. Cause I actually, this was the thing I, I actually, I, I realized that I was like, oh, actually like the Jif support on teams is better at this point. Um, you know,

[00:28:50] Brett: Yes. Yes. Yes. We’re not going to have this battle Right. now. We don’t is unnecessary battle, but yes, man. So [00:29:00] Oracle has this thing in their slack where all personal conversations, all DMS disappear after like one month. Oh wow.

[00:29:10] Christina: Um,

[00:29:10] Brett: Your history is just erased and people, you had a conversation going with, you have to want, you have to start a brand new, fresh DM with after I think it’s 30 days, but

[00:29:23] sometimes it seems like it’s even less than that.

[00:29:25] Christina: Yeah. They might have different retention periods depending on the channel and the type of conversation.

[00:29:30] Bryan: My

[00:29:31] Brett: manager recently set up individual channels for all of his reports. Like every one of us now has a Maneesh Brett channel, just because that is the only way to preserve the history. Otherwise your, your conversations, all of the links you’ve shared, all of the things you’ve figured out are gone with the wind.

[00:29:55] It’s horrible. Like why

[00:29:56] would you do that? What’s

[00:29:57] Bryan: the

[00:29:57] Christina: Um, okay. So, so you know, [00:30:00] the joke, um, about, um, you know, like the org charts for the tech companies, you know, that. You know, the, you know, the thing I’m talking about. Okay. There’s it, there’s like a thing where it shows like what the org charts look like at all the companies. And like at apple, I think that it was everybody going internally, like to the CEO, you know, who’s like Steve jobs at Microsoft.

[00:30:17] You have a bunch of fiefdoms where everybody has guns to each other’s heads and are all trying to shoot each other. Um, uh, Google and Facebook, I think they various things. And then Oracles is like shows a certain amount of engineers and a certain amount of something else, and then a much, much bigger group as lawyers.

[00:30:34] So, so, um, and, uh, I’m, I’m gonna, I’m finding that the graphic to put it in. And so when I hear that, I think that that is completely like a lawyer thing where they’re like, yep, we have had to turn over, um, uh, you know, stuff in discovery and whatnot. And so we are doing everything we can to limit what we keep and because we don’t want to have [00:31:00] to deal with that.

[00:31:00] Brett: after a year of struggle, Oracle and entirely with Oracle legal teams, uh, after a year of struggle, Oracle finally has a public slack where developers can come get help, uh, converse with each other, talk to Oracle directly. It took a year of basically pleading and, and, uh, conforming to all of these legal requirements.

[00:31:28] You actually put out a public slack just for the devil, not like anyone’s letting like developers into Oracle’s internal channels. Just to have a public slack took so much legal maneuvering. It was insane. Anyway. So in brief, my mental health is, uh, five minutes after like a week of feeling jittery. Now it’s doing shit for me.

[00:31:54] And I asked my doctor if we could up my dosage. And [00:32:00] she said, I had to wait until the next time we met, which isn’t too far off. And That’s fine because something is better than nothing, but I’m scraping by for now. I think I’m depressed. I, I can’t, it’s not like the depression I was getting after like manic episodes when I would like fall into deep depression.

[00:32:19] It’s just kinda like, I would rather a soy in my little, so I called it a den in the last episode. And, uh, people in our discord suggested words like late. Or theater spelled T H E a T R E, that that came from Harold, Chris Herald. Um, so I’m going to go with layer, uh, because I don’t have, you can, if you say,

[00:32:49] if you say theater, but you mean theater with an Ari to be slightly pretentious, then you have to spell it. So I’m going to go with layer in my layer. I added back [00:33:00] lighting to my TV. So the entire wall behind my TV lights up based on the colors on the screen, but I, I can put it in music mode and there it has a microphone and all of the hue lights in the room sync with Spotify.

[00:33:15] So now I can play any music I want to, and the entire room turns into a sensory experience. And I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the account. But like there are scenes where he turns on strobe, light blast metal, and then like w has a roller that he wrote rolls across his shin for like just complete sensory overload.

[00:33:39] And that is something I’ve done my whole life. Uh, as a stress reliever, it’s just complete sensory overload. And Right.

[00:33:48] now, for some reason, for whatever reason, I’m finding this, this room full of light and sound to be extremely therapeutic for me. So I’m loving it. [00:34:00] I see the org chart. You posted Christina

[00:34:04] Christina: Yeah.

[00:34:05] Brett: in our show

[00:34:06] Bryan: notes.

[00:34:07] Christina: That’s good stuff. Right.

[00:34:08] Bryan: Oh, my God. It’s amazing.

[00:34:11] Brett: All right. We’ll put it in the show notes. People can catch up on their own time. Speaking of Patrion, I just upped my subscription, my donations, my contributions to . And I can’t remember if we’ve talked about on the show before probably, but so it, apology comes from the Greek word.

[00:34:37] Like I’m not going to, I’m not going to try to find it, but it’s about Christianity. It’s about apologetics, um, pology. His name is about apologetics. Yes, definitely. His name is Paul. He, he is a former Christian who takes a look at the claims of Christians. [00:35:00] that’s his tagline. And he let his Patrion lets you pay per episode instead of like a monthly contribution.

[00:35:09] And he is prolific, which is great to me. And I upped my contribution from like $1 to $5 per episode. He publishes, which is multiple episodes a month. And I have never felt better about supporting a YouTube, a YouTuber than I do with apology. Uh, his, so like these, these arguments I’ve had with my parents, especially regarding evolution.

[00:35:42] Mike. I asked my dad one morning at breakfast, in the midst of a blow up. If I sent you links, if I sent you educational links, would you read them? And he said, yes. And so I [00:36:00] searched and searched and the best resources I found for having this con, because as mentioned previously, I suck at debate. Like I can’t.

[00:36:10] I can’t sit there and present you with facts. And not that that would do any good in a very emotional conversation, but I, I can’t, I can’t win a debate, but Paula JIA has this series of, of responses he did to a creationist. Like here’s why creation is real. And then he deconstruct it very calmly and without being sarcastic or mean he deconstructs these claims and it was it’s exactly what I needed.

[00:36:44] And so I wrote a four page email to my dad, which I still have not sent. I have not broken that seal yet, but as soon as I’d finished the email I went and signed up for pology is [00:37:00] patriotic because I’m like, you are having the conversation I need to have with my parents for me. And I really appreciate that.

[00:37:08] Bryan: Yeah. I, you know, I grew up with a, uh, a Christian background too, but I grew up in the United church of Christ, which is like the whole other side of things. Um, they’re very liberal. Like, I didn’t even know that it like that they were Christians who didn’t like gay people until I was a senior in high school.

[00:37:27] It was a revelation. I

[00:37:28] got to tell you.

[00:37:30] Christina: Oh, that’s so interesting. I mean, I grew up a Pisco Haley, and they’re good at the gays, but there, but it’s also like I, but I also grew up around a bunch of Baptists.

[00:37:39] Bryan: Yeah, I yeah.

[00:37:41] Christina: was definitely aware that that wasn’t the norm.

[00:37:43] Bryan: Yeah. It’s the UCC ordained it’s first gay person in the seventh in 1972. Um, so, and it’s always been a very justice focused, like Cherokee. Uh, one of the big things is that like the UCC has like a [00:38:00] lot of scientists and people who, you know, it struggled like your wrestles a lot with like, oh, we got to balance the science versus this.

[00:38:06] But I have had a lot of experience with fundamentalism. And every time I listened to you talk about the struggles you have with your parents. I, my heart goes out to you because I know people like that. And I know that experience of like, just not being people, they just simply have their belief and they won’t budge.

[00:38:29] My parents

[00:38:30] Brett: still I’m 43 and my parents have no idea I’m pansexual. Like they, they would never be able to wrap their minds. And I’ve known this about myself since I was about 12 years old and I have never been able to talk about that. With my parents or be at all honest about this with my parents, it’s been, and my brother wonders why I’m so traumatized by my upbringing. [00:39:00]

[00:39:00] Christina: And, and the thing is, is that like, you’re, it’s, it’s probably like a valid and probably a correct move for you to not have that discussion with them. Right.

[00:39:10] Brett: I don’t see a point

[00:39:11] Bryan: to it.

[00:39:12] Christina: no, I was going to say, I was, I was like, you, your partner is a woman. And I think it’d be different if your partner were a man, but your partner is a woman.

[00:39:19] And so they’re not going to understand, and they’re not going to be able to offer you like this sort of, you know what I mean? Like, so it was almost like why, why put yourself through the pain

[00:39:30] Brett: at some point, if at some point a relationship with a guy becomes anything other or a guy or anyone else becomes anything other than like a. Uh, pulling. Yeah. I’m going to have to have that conversation, but until that’s the, until that’s the case. Well, I feel like it’s, it’s a rattlesnake’s nest. I don’t need to poke.

[00:39:54] Bryan: Yeah. My parents told me I was scared.

[00:39:59] Christina: Ha [00:40:00]

[00:40:00] Bryan: They called me into, they called me into the room when I was 14 and they said, uh, we know you’re gay.

[00:40:08] Brett: That’s gotta, that’s that’s gotta be kind of nice on, I mean,

[00:40:11] Bryan: it was, but I, of course being a theater kid

[00:40:15] and very dramatic with upset.

[00:40:17] Christina: was going to say, I was going to say

[00:40:18] I was good that you had the big dramatic limos. No, I’m not. Don’t tell me what I

[00:40:22] Bryan: I was just mad that they wouldn’t let

[00:40:24] either, I didn’t get to.

[00:40:26] Christina: Oh, you’re mad. Like you didn’t get to have like the big, like

[00:40:28] Bryan: I think they have the dramatic, right. And then have somebody be mad

[00:40:31] at me and all of this. And so then when they’re like, we don’t think You should tell people because we’re worried about your safety. Then I was a cute,

[00:40:39] just don’t care about being, you’re worried about your, your, you know, your standing in the community.

[00:40:46] They were Right. By the way, it was not great. Um, but you know, also like this is after they had found porn on my computer many times, um, also [00:41:00]

[00:41:00] Brett: it was an evidence-based

[00:41:01] Bryan: claim. It wasn’t evidence-based claim. Also. I just think about how my parents used to take the keyboard from my computer and put it in, like there in one of the drawers of like the.

[00:41:15] They had like the big headboard thing that had like the two, you know, like It’s very thing in the nineties where like it would have drawers and stuff on the side of the bed. If you had like a big king bed in the master bedroom. Yes, exactly. Um, that’s a whole nother story. Um, but uh, they thought that that would keep me from using my computer when they weren’t

[00:41:40] home.

[00:41:41] Christina: Right. It’s so cute.

[00:41:43] Bryan: like

[00:41:43] went in and got the keyboard.

[00:41:45] Christina: Oh, well, that’s what I’m saying. Exactly. Like, like of course you did. Like, I always, I always knew, um, uh, like my parents never did that because in fairness to them, I think, well, I don’t know it’s either. No, cause they never would have dealt with that with my sister. [00:42:00] Cause she wasn’t into computers and um, whatnot.

[00:42:02] But I think that I’d worn them down at that point. Cause she’s six years older and I think they just weren’t going to with me. But I also feel like there, I think there would have been a part of them that they would have realized the futility of doing that because like I remember at one point I was put on computer restriction and I put a password on the computer and that really, really, really, really, really made them angry because then my dad could get on the computer.

[00:42:28] I’m like, well, I mean, you know, we have two options here.

[00:42:32] Brett: control. Dad

[00:42:34] Christina: Well, I mean, yeah, like.

[00:42:35] Bryan: my parents.

[00:42:37] Christina: Exactly. Exactly. Well that, well, that’s the thing too, is that at a certain point, like they were like, I was the one who would have had to set up all the parental control software, you know what I mean? Like, like there’s no way that they could have done anything with me.

[00:42:46] So, so, but, but I totally understand that. Yeah. Like they, they take the keyboard away. Cause I had friends who their parents would do that. And I was like, how dumb are you? You’re just going to go and find it. You know exactly where it is. It’s going to be in some, you know, on, on some [00:43:00] shelf someplace, like are, do they think that you’re just not going to get the keyboard and worst case?

[00:43:05] Cause I did actually have like one friend who I think their, I think their mom or something. I think she like took the keyboard with her in the car or something. Okay. Key ports are not expensive. It’s pretty easy to just find somebody who’s PSU keyboard and then just get another one and like hide it under your bed.

[00:43:20] Like it’s not, it’s not the end of the world.

[00:43:23] Bryan: Man. So

[00:43:24] Brett: like my parents took my CDs out of my room and they would take my records out of my room because I’m a kid of the nineties. I had both vinyl and CDs and tapes, but, uh, but they would never fuck with my computer. Like they never, they never messed with it. Like I built my own machines. I always had a computer and it was always like my most prized possession.

[00:43:48] And it’s not that my parents didn’t know how these things work. My like my dad got our first computer in like 1984. And like he knew what was up, but for some reason they [00:44:00] never. I, as far as I know, they never even booted by machine to see what, see what I was doing. I ran my own BBS. They never checked on what they had, no idea what was happening.

[00:44:11] They left my computer alone and thank God that could have gotten messy. There were these, like, there were these text-based porn, like when you run a BBS, you can run like interactive games and they’re like text-based games. And there was one that was very adult themed and a BBS. I had been like, ah, like a member of a, they made me assists up when I was like 15 and I immediately jumped into

[00:44:43] the adults only section and, and they found out they tracked my history.

[00:44:48] They took away my privileges. So I just ran the same app on my own BBS. And like that could have gotten.

[00:44:59] Ugly [00:45:00] it like if they, if they had seen my history with that game, we’re talking, it got, it got dirty. It was filthy as fuck. And if they had any idea, they would never see me the same way. Again, like this is a kid who called them from, from rehab to say, mom, I’ve been hooked on heroin for eight years.

[00:45:21] I need a ride home. And still, I think this would have been worse

[00:45:25] Bryan: for them.

[00:45:28] Christina: But I mean, yeah. Which, which is why it’s good, that they, I have a feeling that they might’ve kind of deep down known some of that, which is why they let you just do things on your own computer. They just out of sight out of mind, you know what I mean?

[00:45:39] Brett: I hope so. hope they have some idea or though is they’re

[00:45:43] completely oblivious.

[00:45:45] Christina: I mean, like, not that my parents had the ability to do, um, like any of that stuff, but. Uh, if they did, I would like to think that they wouldn’t have wanted to know that. Yes, I absolutely had, um, when I was like 12 and 13 years old, I [00:46:00] absolutely had grown men on the internet trying to like, like, you know, like to catch a predator with me, like 100%, like, like, like, like, like, like the Chris Hanson dudes were, were all up, like in the chats and asking me all kinds of inappropriate questions.

[00:46:13] And I was like, not having it, but like that stuff was happening. Right? Like, like people were attempting to GRU me, um, a little do they know that, that I really enjoyed fucking with them, um, and, uh, was, was not, was not there for that, but, um, they would have been horrified by some of the stuff that in of the conversations I had and I have, I have to think that there’s a part of them.

[00:46:32] It was just like, you know what don’t want to know.

[00:46:35] Bryan: Yeah,

[00:46:35] Brett: well, okay. So when I was in my teens and twenties, I was super curious about what my partners were writing in their personal journals. And I would Snoop and I regretted it every time I did now, I’m in my forties and I don’t want to fucking know.

[00:46:55] what you’re writing in your journal. That is your space.

[00:46:58] And I want nothing to do [00:47:00] with it. And I feel like once you get to a certain age, you understand.

[00:47:04] Christina: Yes,

[00:47:05] Brett: That people’s privacy is private for a reason. And you don’t need to know certain things.

[00:47:14] Bryan: I’m happier

[00:47:15] if you don’t know certain things. Really.

[00:47:17] Christina: exactly. You really do not want to know. I mean, cause this is the thing, like we used to have a thing, like we would like break into each other’s emails and things like that. And then like you would find stuff out about each other and you’re like, oh shit. I, like, I found out, like, I, I knew he was gay, but then I really knew he was gay and, and, and we were like 15 and I like, felt like such an asshole.

[00:47:38] Cause then like he wasn’t out and like we didn’t ever have a conversation about it. And so I had to like, pretend

[00:47:43] Brett: yeah.

[00:47:43] Christina: uh, like, because.

[00:47:44] Brett: never have known that, that

[00:47:46] Christina: I never should have

[00:47:47] known that

[00:47:48] it wasn’t mine to know. And what we’d had this game to see who could break into each other’s email first, I guess he didn’t realize how quickly I got into his and couldn’t delete his, his email newsletters.

[00:47:58] And, and [00:48:00] so I never told him, cause it was one of those things, like when I found that out, I was like, oh shit. Okay. So, so this is not actually a good game to have. This is actually not a good game to play. This is, this is not a good game to play, but like that was like, but like you like going through like, you know, a partner’s like journal, like you think that you want to know those things and then you realize, no, actually I really

[00:48:19] Brett: I was way happier before I knew that you thought this even in even, so a journal represents things that you, you think, but maybe don’t consider necessary to tell other people there they’re very internal thoughts. And just because someone writes something in a journal, doesn’t make it real.

[00:48:42] it’s just a thought that they had

[00:48:44] Christina: what they’re thinking of that

[00:48:45] Brett: they didn’t consider where sharing.

[00:48:49] Oh

[00:48:49] Christina: Well, and sometimes it’s up, it’s just put your working out emotionally, you know, it’s like, it’s like your brain. It’s like, you know, I, I think it’s one of those things where, and I’ve even thought that my, I thought this myself and then I’ve like gotten, that would actually be the worst thing [00:49:00] where like you think, oh, I wish I could read people’s minds.

[00:49:02] And I’m like, oh my God, that would be horrible if you knew what everyone was thinking. Oh my God. Like that would just be

[00:49:09] Brett: Yeah, no, I have enough problem with thinking. I know what other people are thinking if I knew it to be true, I’d be fucked.

[00:49:16] Christina: Yeah,

[00:49:17] Brett: Yeah. Okay. So wait, we have 10 minutes left and I really want Brian to pick our

[00:49:23] final topic.

[00:49:24] Christina: Okay. But first, real quick, uh, we need to talk about our next sponsor, uh, who is.

[00:49:30] Brett: responsible.

[00:49:31] Christina: Say, I’m trying, man. I’m trying to get us paid. All right. Now we’re going to talk about, um, our next sponsor, which is a rake on.

[00:49:38] Sponsor: Raycon

[00:49:38] Christina: So a lot of people didn’t even make resolutions this year. Also. Can you believe it’s already April?

[00:49:44] I can’t like that’s messed up. All right. But you know what? We get it. Um, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still find a way to shake things up, whether it’s by switching up your workout routine or going someplace new. So whatever way you challenge yourself this year, there’s no better way to do it [00:50:00] than with a pair of a Ray Khan, wireless earbuds in your ears.

[00:50:04] And recon wireless earbuds are the best way to bring audio with you because no matter how much you shake things up, literally, uh, and no matter how much you shake, you know what, they will not fall out of your ears. Brett, tell me about your experience with.

[00:50:16] Brett: So, uh, like I, I have, I have many pairs of your buds. I love headphones. And I walk my dogs, my dog singular all the time. I have never had a pair of earbuds that wouldn’t fall out. When it like the dog poles and you make a quick turn, I, my ears are shaped funny and they always fall out. And these Ray con earbuds are literally the first earbuds I’ve ever had that I can put in at the beginning of a dog walk and never once have to like catch halfway down to the ground.

[00:50:51] They are amazing at staying in my ears.

[00:50:54] That’s my testimonial.

[00:50:57] Christina: Yeah, I have to say, uh, my husband grant, uh, he’s been saying the [00:51:00] same things. He’s always dropping and, um, um, breaking things is he’s been working on maker, sh stuff in the house and he’s had them in and it’s the same thing. Like they do not fall out and, uh, Ray cons everyday earbuds look, feel, and sound better than ever.

[00:51:15] And there’s also an aware. For when you need to listen to your surroundings. So you can take your Ray cons with you wherever you go, and you can use them in all kinds of situations. And that awareness stuff is great, especially if you’re going to be walking outside or, or, or it’s a place where, you know, you might have traffic or other things you might need to be aware of.

[00:51:32] The name and with optimized gel tips for the perfect ear fit. These earbuds are so comfortable that they will not budge. And as Brett said, he definitely has trouble with the yurbuds falling out, but not with these and Ray cons offer eight hours of playtime and a 32 hour battery life. And they’re priced just right.

[00:51:51] So you get great audio quality at half the price of the other premium audio brands. And it’s no wonder that Rakeon’s everyday earbuds have over 48,000 [00:52:00] five-star reviews. So right now, overtired listeners can get 15% off their re con order at by Ray con.com/overtired. That’s right by Ray con.com/overtired to save 15% on ons.

[00:52:14] That’s by Ray con R S R a Y C O n.com/overtime.

[00:52:20] One more time

[00:52:20] Brett: That’s by Ray con.com/overtired.

[00:52:24] All these reads require that you say it like three times. And I guess, I guess That’s like psychologically prevent to like lodge in people’s memories, but it feels, it feels very repetitive to me. I just,

[00:52:38] Christina: by Ray con.com/overtired.

[00:52:41] Bryan: by, as in like, you want to purchase them, not goodbye, Ray con B U

[00:52:45] Christina: oh, that’s broccoli. That’s correct. B U Y

[00:52:48] R a Y C O n.com/overtired.

[00:52:52] Brett: case just in case you miss it. That’s by Ray con.com/overtired. Brian that’s

[00:52:59] Bryan: for econ,[00:53:00]

[00:53:03] but yes.

[00:53:04] Brett: What else? Topic. Yeah, we have like, you have a whole list here in Quip, including including your own topics. What do you pick for our last topic of the, of the episode?

[00:53:15] Bryan: All right. Let’s I think what we’ll do really tight here is, um, the one that I think is my biggest issue right now, which is how do I learn to leave my house again?

[00:53:28] Christina: Okay.

[00:53:29] Brett: let’s finish that line because you’re scared of COVID but you miss your friends. Yeah.

[00:53:34] Bryan: Um, I am, yes. I am technically higher risk because I’m fat. There’s some debate on that, but also I have high blood pressure and I’m about to start taking an immunosuppressant

[00:53:47] Brett: same. Uh, other than the immunosuppressant, I am, I am technically obese and I have high blood pressure and am considered high risk.

[00:53:58] We both

[00:53:59] Bryan: have ADHD, [00:54:00] which also makes us high risk

[00:54:01] Brett: weirdly enough. That is correct. Ha ADHD is a, uh, uh, high-risk symptom

[00:54:09] Bryan: conditions, conditions first to fly to Florida next month for a fraternity thing. And I don’t know, y’all like, I haven’t even seen friends around here yet. Now I live in the middle of nowhere.

[00:54:21] So it’s like a 90 minute commitment just to see a friend. Yeah,

[00:54:28] Brett: we talked about a couple episodes ago. We talked about how, uh, we were excited to go mask free. Um, and how, at some point wearing a mask is just performative, which you had an issue with. Um, you, you took us to task on this with a, with a tweet storm.

[00:54:49] There were no less than three tweets. fewer than three tweets to take us to task for calling wearing a mask performative. [00:55:00] Do you, do you feel like it’s not time to drop masks yet?

[00:55:06] Bryan: I think you have to be really clear about the risk of the people around you. And the, um, the level of community spread that you have.

[00:55:21] So I think in some cases, in some places, you know, it’s okay to not wear masks. If you are meeting with friends, people, you know, and everybody, you know, has been hanging out at home or hasn’t been in, um, a bunch of places, outdoors or indoors. Um, I think, you know, it’s reasonable to not wear a mask. Um, I think that rapid tests are one of the great tools of the pandemic.

[00:55:50] It doesn’t mean you’re not, you could have a negative test on a rapid test and still be positive, but you’re not likely to infect your friends. So I think there are times where [00:56:00] you can not wear masks. I will tell you that since September, I had one visit with a friend in September, Where we didn’t wear masks and we hung out indoors.

[00:56:13] But since then, like I saw my parents twice and even outdoors, I was wearing masks. Um, but you know, I know that everything’s changing. So it’s really difficult for me to sort of figure out where I want to be here. It’s just, honestly, it’s the long COVID thing. Like he knows so little about

[00:56:32] Brett: it. Yeah. people talk about like, oh, Alma, Cron is super mild and you get over it in a couple of days, but we have no stats yet on the long COVID reaction.

[00:56:45] And that’s what freaks me out. I, can handle being sick for a couple of weeks. That’s fine. I’m I’m good at being sick. I, I’ve been, I’ve been sick for a good portion of my life. It’s the long COVID and the brain fog that really scares me like [00:57:00] the long-term damage because there is brain damage. We have shown in the couple years that we’ve had data for, we have shown actual damage to the brain from COVID infection and that

[00:57:13] scares the shit out of bang.

[00:57:16] Christina: Yeah. I, I, it scares me too. The only thing I will say is, and this isn’t to any way discount. I want to be very clear about that. Like what people are saying, but as long as COVID is a concern, but I also feel like, and this, I have a problem with some of the messaging around lung COVID because I think that it’s, it becomes like some of the other.

[00:57:34] Um, uh, like diagnoses where we don’t actually know what qualifies as on COVID and what doesn’t. And so you see a lot of mixed and, and, and cause we just don’t have enough data. So you see a lot of mixed stuff where people are like, oh, well I’ve had this and this and this, and this is all because of long COVID when it might not be that at all.

[00:57:50] And so I at least just for our, all of our mental health, just because we are going to have to be out in the world more, you know, even if we are [00:58:00] taking precautions, things are going to, um, things are opened up and, and unless you want to be committed to staying indoors and taking rapid tests every single time you’re around anyone and enforcing that and others too, you know, like there are, there are certain things that are out of our control.

[00:58:17] So for my own. Sanity. I’m looking at the lawn. COVID seven bothers me, but I’m also trying to be skeptical in the sense that some of the stuff that I see associated with it, I’m like, okay, is the medical community really saying this? Or is this just becoming a catch all where we don’t know what else it is?

[00:58:34] Brett: Just to be clear though, long COVID is recognized is?

[00:58:39] officially

[00:58:39] now recognized as a medical

[00:58:42] Christina: Um, I, yeah, no, I’m, I’m aware

[00:58:44] Brett: And also I’m fine with never leaving my

[00:58:46] house again. So

[00:58:48] Christina: well, I mean, okay. But, but, but, but I’m not talking about whether it’s recognized or not. I I’m, I’m saying it’s like fibromyalgia or some of the other, or like Lyme disease or other things where things are associated with [00:59:00] them that might not be associated with them at all. And that, and it doesn’t mean they’re not real.

[00:59:03] It just means that they become a catchall for things that don’t actually have anything to do with that, like IBS. Right? Like there’s, there’s a lot of stuff that is real diseases that, that become.

[00:59:15] Brett: I’ve been diagnosed with IBS and my girlfriend has been

[00:59:17] diagnosed with Lyme. So.

[00:59:20] Christina: Yeah, and, and those are real things. And what I’m saying is, is that they become though for a lot of people add like a way where you can just throw something and you can say that this is, this is because of, of this, um, diagnosis.

[00:59:33] Bryan: go ahead. There’s all, there are always situations where people will not be like won’t know or are trying to find an answer for something that they’re dealing with. And the only thing that they can figure out themselves, how to connect it back to as long COVID. And the problem of course, with long COVID is it’s not like you can get a, it’s not like there’s a test to be like, oh, you have COVID [01:00:00] it’s like you had COVID and then all of these other things happen and re and all we dealt with is that they happened after you had COVID.

[01:00:10] Yeah. And you know, it, it is hard to necessarily know what connects and what doesn’t yet, but. Yeah, well, like that’s the scary

[01:00:20] Brett: thing. My diagnosis of IBS basically came after multiple interviews and then a colonoscopy in which they didn’t find anything they were looking for. And that’s when they said, okay, you have IBS because we can’t explain this in any other way.

[01:00:39] Christina: right.

[01:00:40] Bryan: That’s the tricky part about a lot of these is they are like diagnoses of elimination.

[01:00:45] Christina: Exactly.

[01:00:45] Bryan: I do think Christina, one of the things that’s different. I mean, Brett, you were like, I’m fine. Never leaving my house again. I’m not. And that’s the part that I’m in, in the worst part is, is that my partner, like Nathan is fine not leaving the house.

[01:00:59] [01:01:00] Um, and so. What would make me more comfortable as if he left the house with me, but he’s like, ah, I’m not like, I’m not going to go to Florida with you. Uh, then do I really want to go? And it’s the

[01:01:15] question of like, what is worth it now?

[01:01:17] Christina: Right. No, that’s a good, that’s a good point. And I think that maybe that becomes like what you have to kind of address with yourself and maybe you need to also express to him, like if his concerns are not health based, if his are more, like, I just don’t see the need to go out and be social maybe.

[01:01:32] Bryan: to Florida.

[01:01:33] Christina: Well, but, but maybe, but maybe he would see the need to be with this partner who wants to see friends and see people and want

[01:01:40] Bryan: And I think he would do some of that with me. Um, I think he is just, you know, much, like many of us he’s very disappointed in humanity Right. now. And so. He’s like, if there’s, you know, he’s I was like, what if your parents got sick? Cause they live in, they live in the Midwest and he was like, [01:02:00] I would probably drive to see them.

[01:02:03] I was like, okay. You know? Um, it’s yeah. It’s just figuring out that space and figuring out what we’re going to do. Cause if it’s not that like, I’m supposed to be in Atlanta for our fraternities convention in July, but that’s fine if a way that, that doesn’t feel real yet.

[01:02:18] Christina: Right.

[01:02:18] Bryan: Atlanta

[01:02:19] is not Florida.

[01:02:21] Christina: No, it’s not, it’s not, I mean, it’s, it’s people don’t wear masks, but it’s not Florida. Um,

[01:02:27] Bryan: So who knows? I’m a lot of it depends on this, you know, the other part is that like every time we think we’re out of it, there’s another

[01:02:35] way. It’s just totally.

[01:02:37] Christina: Well, and I think for me, and I can think this is why I said that, that at a certain point, the mass were performative and I do kind of stand by that. I understand completely where your critique came in mind. And, and I, and I appreciate that. I think for me though, what I’ve had to come to accept is, and this is what all the experts have told us too, is like, this is not going away.

[01:02:56] This will never go away. There are always going to be other waves. [01:03:00] Now there are things that we can do that right there, there are things that we can do to make it better. And hopefully it will dissipate over time. But the, the time when humanity could have eradicated, this is over. So for me, it then does become about, okay, well then how do we figure out how to live with it?

[01:03:16] And in some areas it might be about recognizing, as you said, depending on the spread and depending on the other things, having a mask on and doing those sorts of things, but in some areas that might not be what the situation calls for. And even if a situation doesn’t call from that, you don’t know where everybody has ever been.

[01:03:33] Right. So, okay. You’re in an area with a low spread and it feels completely fine to not have it have a mask on, but someone who was in an area, you know, with higher spread comes in and even if they were messed up, they could still give it to you. Right. Like, I feel like it’s one of those things where, um, it’s going to be almost impossible to avoid.

[01:03:51] And so for me, it’s about like, there will always be a risk. And so it’s just a matter of like having to kind of, you know, put it on yourself. But I feel like that that era, at least for [01:04:00] me, I, I’m no longer willing to. Not go out and not participate, but, but I do respect people who do and people who were struggling with that.

[01:04:09] Okay. What would, what would you need? And this is the question I would pose to you. What would you need to see to feel better and to feel like there’s less of a risk need to be zero to hospitalization. It’s mean to be down low. Like what do you need to see where you can like mentally feel? Okay. I guess, going out.

[01:04:27] Bryan: that’s a really helpful frame of mind. And I think the thing that I struggled with the most just at this point is that like planes are possibly totally cool because of their high rates of exchange and stuff, you know, that’s awesome. But like, what if they get rid of the mass mandate on planes, you know, um, I can, you know, is it just that maybe I’ll just drive a lot more places as an option or take a train, you know?

[01:04:54] Um, who knows, but you’re right. Like Christina idiots, like what is the thing, [01:05:00] you know, that your car that I’m comfortable with, what are the constructions of that that I have to be comfortable with, but then the other part is maybe, maybe I just need to do a little something

[01:05:12] Christina: Yeah.

[01:05:12] Bryan: to help, like break that, like, to just know that like you can go out, sit outside with your friends without

[01:05:17] wearing a mask and you’ll be okay, you know, and you take that

[01:05:21] Christina: important. Yes. I think that’s important. Like I had, I had an instance, um, a number of years ago where I was like deeply, my anxiety was really, really high and I’d never had a gore phobia before in my life. And I had a gore phobia and it was. Terrifying for me. And it was awful. And the way that I got over it was my doctor kind of told me, like my shrink told me he was like, you have to force yourself to go out, even when it’s hard and even when it’s uncomfortable.

[01:05:49] And so I think that the, what you just said, if you could maybe find a place to be outside with your friends and know that it’s okay, little by little, you might become more comfortable. You can [01:06:00] still have like what your own personal risk assessment is. Right. And you can still make your decision about what type of, you know, um, if you want to do certain types of transportation or, you know, if you want to have like masks in certain places or not.

[01:06:12] That pointing like those little step forward might be just as uncomfortable as it is. It might just be a necessity. Um, just, just because, and again, like, this is for you because you’re a social person and you don’t want to be cooped up and, and the world is not like the world is, has we’ve. We’ve basically said we’re done with all of this, whether that’s the right move or

[01:06:32] Bryan: It is what it is

[01:06:33] Christina: right.

[01:06:33] You know what I mean? Like, like whether that’s correct or not, it doesn’t matter. Like the world has decided that it’s no longer, you know, doing that other stuff. So if you want to be part of the world, then, you know, you need to figure out how you can maybe slowly become more comfortable.

[01:06:48] Bryan: Yeah. So should we, should we hit our, our, our

[01:06:51] Brett: grabs? Oh my God. Do you guys have

[01:06:54] time for it?

[01:06:55] Bryan: Yeah.

[01:06:56] Christina: Yeah. I have time. Do you have time? I know you had a hard out,

[01:06:58] Bryan: Yeah, I can do it.

[01:06:59] Brett: [01:07:00] Okay. Well, we’ll do a quick, we’ll do a quick, this is the gratitude segment where we talk about great. apps, craps that we are super into this week. Brian, you kick us off.

[01:07:12] Bryan: All right. I’m kicking us off with.

[01:07:16] T U E um, I love this app. It is an app that lets you create all sorts of, uh, timers and reminders. And the thing about do that is that really like kicked it onto the scene was it has auto snoozing reminders. So what that means is it will go off at a certain time and then it’ll just keep repeating like every five minutes or however long you said it until you mark the thing done.

[01:07:44] So this has really been the key for me to like organize a lot of stuff that I struggle with with my ADHD, because it’s always there on the list if I haven’t done it. Yeah. Um, so I love do, it’s a single developer. Who’s been doing it for years. [01:08:00] Um, he’s from Singapore. Uh, I try to find, he’s also like one of those people who doesn’t talk about himself very much.

[01:08:07] Like it’s just like the website, but it’s been consistently updated. And since I think this thing launched like 2000 and. 13 or something it’s been around for a long time and regular updates. They’ll come.

[01:08:20] Brett: Yeah. I remember duke from way back in the day. Yeah.

[01:08:25] Bryan: I loved you so

[01:08:26] Brett: much. Yeah. I, so I use a, I use an app called ah, fuck.

[01:08:30] I’m just gonna make this, my pick for this week is, uh, um, a safe, let me, let me check the name. Let me check the name. All right. It’s in my recovery folder. Uh, it’s called ma yeah, Medisafe. And it, it gives me reminders when it’s time to take my meds and it doesn’t shut up. In fact, it, it incorporates Apple’s emergency reminders, which even when you’re on, in do not disturb mode [01:09:00] allows it to like set off an alarm.

[01:09:02] And so if it’s, if it’s half an hour after the time to take my meds, it can break through my do not serve and be like, Hey, time to take your meds. Yes. And so I never miss my meds and I have to check them off and I can check them off on my watch or my phone whatever’s handy, uh, once I’ve taken them and then it shuts up, but it does not.

[01:09:28] Let me forget so Medisafe and you can enter and you can even add like friends, you can add med friends. If you go half an hour without taking your meds, it’ll text your friends to be like, Hey, you should tell your friend to take his meds. And it’s, it’s a perfect system. Like I’ve I have not missed. I had not missed a dose of meds for like years now.

[01:09:54] I’ve been using medicine for a couple of years.

[01:09:56] Bryan: That’s phenomenal.

[01:09:58] Christina: That’s great.

[01:09:59] Bryan: [01:10:00] Yeah.

[01:10:00] Christina: I actually really liked this idea because I could really, I could really actually benefit from this. Okay.

[01:10:06] Bryan: Cause I have to take that 2:00 PM Adderall or I get in a fight. Yeah.

[01:10:13] Brett: It’s just good for everybody.

[01:10:15] Christina: That’s awesome.

[01:10:16] Bryan: All right, Christina, what you got?

[01:10:18] Christina: All right. So mine is, uh, audio hijack for which, uh, came out, I think, uh, last week. And, um, I have been using audio hijack for many years, but for a long, long time, my primary way of recording podcasts was actually to use call recorder because it integrated so seamlessly into Skype, but, uh, you know, Skype, um, a call recorder eCampus is not doing that anymore.

[01:10:42] And so I’ve been using audio hijack and I looked, I realized version four just came out. It’s a really good update is the first, um, major release in seven years. Which I can’t believe it’s been that long. It’s got a new design and they’ve added some new features. Um, I’d like, I like the new designs of you can now do [01:11:00] scripting by JavaScript that I haven’t totally gotten into, but Jason Sellers written about it.

[01:11:04] But I have to say if you’re somebody who does any sort of like recording of audio, whether it’s podcasting or you’re trying to record from other sources and control, you know, inputs coming in on your Mac, it’s a really, really good app. Rogue amoeba is a great company. Um, they do a really good job and, uh, at the time I’m recording this episode right now, uh,

[01:11:24] Bryan: Here’s the

[01:11:25] Brett: thing. So yes, audio hydro. It’s how I record all of my podcasts as well. It is a central and Rogan MIGA apps in general. I use basically all of them and I would go to bat for rogue amoeba anytime. What bugs me is the added scripting, but they didn’t, they still haven’t added a basic apple script library that lets you load a session via apple script.

[01:11:53] Like you can script it internally now, which is amazing. And you can do it opens up a ton of [01:12:00] possibilities, but did have a simple apple script that just says open audio, hijack and load this session and start recording. You still can’t do. And it

[01:12:09] drives me insane.

[01:12:11] Christina: That is frustrating. Um, they can use has, does it has a, it has shortcut support there.

[01:12:16] Brett: Yeah, it does. it.

[01:12:17] does. And I have to look into that further. Yes.

[01:12:19] for sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[01:12:20] Bryan: Jason was talking about that. I, yeah, I’m really interested in looking into that more. I think I’m going to buy one of those stream deck things too.

[01:12:28] Brett: Oh, I, I love my, I have multiple stream decks. I love

[01:12:32] them.

[01:12:34] Christina: Yeah. And actually Jason has on, um, on his blog, six colors has, um, uh, showing how he was able to get it integrated with a stream Jack, um, using keyboard Maestro, um, which is pretty cool. So

[01:12:47] Bryan: Jason

[01:12:49] Jason’s. Now we can also give one more shout out. We’re going to give one more shout out for our gratitude really quick, and that’s going to be for our good friend, Uh Casey [01:13:00] Liz’s app that he released. Casey. Liz has an app. Oh yes. Um, and it’s called, oh, no.

[01:13:10] Brett: Oh no. I

[01:13:11] think I’ve used that app.

[01:13:13] Bryan: Um,

[01:13:13] Christina: Is this massacre.

[01:13:15] Bryan: masquerade.

[01:13:16] That’s it, it helps you cover

[01:13:17] up people’s faces with the mochi.

[01:13:19] Brett: Oh, I did see that on

[01:13:20] Christina: Yeah. That’s a great idea. That’s a great

[01:13:22] Bryan: And I think it’s so much fun and I love playing with that app and just putting emojis on people. I’m the latest update that he put, you can put,

[01:13:29] cases.

[01:13:31] Christina: Ha ha. That’s

[01:13:32] Bryan: Um, so I’m very

[01:13:33] excited about that. Awesome.

[01:13:36] Christina: really, really good. I like that. Ha ha having, having a KC a sticker that’s okay. I like that. I like that a lot. There should be some sort of like Konami code that like has like a Marco or uh, or a, uh, Syracuse, um,

[01:13:47] Bryan: Casey become the next underscore. Add crazy things into your app. Not underscore,

[01:13:52] um, James

[01:13:54] Christina: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It’d be, be the next name. John Thompson. Yeah, Exactly.

[01:13:57] Bryan: Konami code. I love that like [01:14:00] three taps, four swipes and it’s world.

[01:14:03] Christina: Exactly.

[01:14:04] Bryan: Perfect. This will be micro mode. All right. We’re all

[01:14:07] Brett: late for our next thing. So you guys get some sleep,

[01:14:11] Bryan: Get some.

[01:14:11] sleep.

[01:14:12] Christina: get some